Trials By Any Other Name
by DizmiusArtistius
Summary: A story that spans the prequels. Possession is forbidden, attachment is forbidden, compassion is encouraged. The story of how a friendship between two former padawans evolved from friendship to tragedy. Obi-Wan Kenobi/OFC
1. Chapter 1

"You've been gone for three days. What happened?"

"A storage unit of logs. These logs needed to be transported by no mechanical means into an empty storage unit beside the log-filled one. So a trial of endurance and manpower? Perhaps. One must be mindful of a potential for disruption. Is there a trap? Are there enemies in the background?"

"Were there?"

"No. Not an enemy in sight."

"So what was the problem?"

"For each log removed, another would generate in its place to fill the empty space created. The logs must all fit in the container beside the original. If you keep removing the logs from the holding container and more are generated, you will have too many to fit in the new container. It took a good few hours for me to notice new logs were being generated in the first place."

"Forgive me, but that doesn't sound very much like a trial for a Jedi."

"Well exactly. I was expecting some intrigue concerning the fate of a people, perhaps a tense negotiation or test of skills that required a lightsabre. Au contraire. I didn't use a lightsabre once. I didn't speak to anyone but myself for 72 hours. I didn't see another creature for the whole time. Just an endless bleak landscape, no vegetation, no population and no answers to the question at hand."

"How to move the logs."

"Precisely so."

Obi-Wan sat up. He and Cretia had been laying back on the roof of the senators' personal quarters building. As two padawans, they had often come here, to one of the tallest buildings on Coruscant to look at what stars the light pollution would let them view. Cretia had always struggled with naming the planets and systems in the galaxy and it had happened to be a speciality of Obi-Wan. A long time ago, she had asked for his help and they had decided to come here, away from the holograms of the Temple's teaching rooms, to play the game which would forever be remembered in a playfully childish way as 'Interplanetary In To Planets Are We'.

There was a difference now. Cretia had passed the Jedi Trials. There was only one padawan sitting on the roof staring at stars, and it was Obi-Wan. Cretia was due to embark on a mission into the Outer Rim systems when dawn broke and Qui-Gon was taking Obi-Wan on a mission to negotiate the hostile situation on Naboo the day after. This would most likely be the last chance to play Interplanetary In To Planets Are We for a while and Obi-Wan was interested to know if Cretia could actually point out the system she was due to visit in the skies above them. She couldn't and it had been hilarious, but he was more interested in listening to what had happened at the trials anyway.

Cretia continued "The point was, and is, that you need to be able to lock in to the living force. To understand the life around you, and that things have their places in the world, in their own micro universe. To shift things unnaturally, to move what belongs in one place to another without a good reason is to shift a natural balance out of kilter."

"So you didn't move them."

"I didn't move them."

"But your task was to move them."

"And when did the council state that in their briefing of the assignment? They didn't. There was a message on the front of the containers explaining the task, for sure, but who had given that message? Not the council."

"So the real trial was to come to the conclusion that the best course of action was to do nothing."

"I wouldn't say that it was to do nothing. I didn't sit there for three days and just do nothing. The trial was to reach out to realise what the correct act should be. The difference between what you are told to do, and to meditate on what is right to do. The logs had the echo of their life force within them. Their place was in that container and their purpose was yet unknown, to move them would be to shift their eventual purpose. One cannot manipulate events without knowing the history of why the current situation is as it is. I knew nothing of why they were in that particular container until the very end."

"What happened?"

"The container doors automatically sealed shut upon the 70th hour, which was the limit stated on the message within which these logs ought to have been shifted. In the 72nd hour came a speeder with a family of starved nemoidians. They couldn't see I was there and I couldn't communicate to them. They tried the empty second container first, but couldn't open it. They then tried the original container, and it opened upon their touch. They were beyond relief - they had logs with which to barter to purchase food."

Obi-Wan was silent for a moment, "So had you found a way to shift the logs, regardless of the regeneration of the originals, which I suppose could have been done by manipulating the force, the nemoidian family would have not been able to open the container which actually had the logs inside."

Cretia nodded. "And it was a solemn lesson."

Obi-Wan shifted uncomfortably. "I'm not sure I would have succeeded in the same way. I think in that trial, I would have shifted the logs, because that is what I had been instructed to do."

Cretia laughed, "And that, my friend, is why I'm now a Jedi Knight and you are still wearing the braid of a padawan."

"Is not!"

"I know, I know. I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. I'm teasing you. But seriously, me. Knowing what to do! I can't even tell you where the system is that I'm heading tomorrow!"

Silence was perhaps the only answer. Obi-Wan and Cretia sat without saying a word, letting the sounds of the night time traffic fill the space between them. Cretia had no master to go home to and Qui-Gon would, most likely, be deep in meditation as he often was in the days prior to a mission. Cretia hugged her knees, her new Jedi knight clothing fresh and shiny in the reflected light from the cruisers and speeders whipping past. Obi-Wan wondered if something would change now she had progressed to being a full Jedi. There would be no more training sessions in the temple, that was certain. There would be less padawan camaraderie perhaps. There was a difference in status in public.

Cretia rocked back and forth gently, still hugging her knees. Her boots hurt. Wearing in new boots always took time and she didn't have time. She wondered if taking the trials had been a mistake. Cretia didn't feel ready. And what would become of the fellow padawan bond between her and Obi-Wan now she had been elevated beyond the status of an apprentice?

They turned to speak to each other and laughed.

"You go first." Cretia requested.

"Are you nervous?"

"A little, and that's ok."

"Well" Obi-Wan grinned, "I'd be nervous if I couldn't locate the star system I was heading for in less than twenty four hours, too."

"You're such a pain."


	2. Chapter 2

Cretia felt a darkness swallow her senses. It had been barely a week into her first solo mission away to the outer rim and the long periods of inactivity whist two systems 'negotiated' under her watchful eye had left her with little to do other than meditate, and wait. She could not call upon the Force and intervene, but merely accept her role as a republic observer and keep the peace.

Kalash and Beiroid people were stubborn and as old as time. Intricacies of what trade routes belonged to whom from when and for what profits did little to cast any intrigue and this negotiation was unlikely to escalate into violence. The two tribes were peaceful, but unlikely to give anything to the other as a starting point for talks out of the trade lock they had descended into. It had been at the end of this fifth day that Cretia had chosen to excuse herself from the muttering and musings of the Kalash Grand Palace and meditate in the barren tundra of the grounds that stretched for miles towards the horizon. The flash of darkness had tendrils of pain and sorrow smearing across the Force. Cretia held her stomach before doubling over to unexpectedly vomit on the ground. The pain echoed out from another Jedi, and it felt like it was coming from Obi-Wan.

He wasn't hurt, at least not physically, that much was evident. As quickly as the darkness had flashed through the Force, it had vanished. Cretia reached out to him, but found only the bleakness of resolution and purpose. He was clearly guarding his thoughts and from across the galaxy there was little to be done. Cretia rearranged her crumbled robes and started the walk back to the palace. Keep your mind to the task at hand, she thought, and whatever is happening elsewhere is guided by the Force and can be trusted to be making its own path.

Three years later and Cretia had never been so pleased to see the smog and bustle that was Coruscant. As her cruiser landed within the temple fleet yard's carefully hewn landing bay perimeter markings, Cretia found herself tapping her foot impatiently whilst the captain disengaged the security systems and pressure gauges. The two systems had only come to an agreement due to the demise of three of the Kalash elders, who had simply died of old age. Their younger replacements had been eager for an end to the dispute and readily agreed to negotiate one key trade route's profit margin in order to return to an economic life that actually benefitted the planet and its people, unlike the dispute that had slowly enveloped all within its decay.

Cretia had grown accustomed to the silence and blank landscape of Kalash and found even the quiet efficient bustle of the temple landing bay energising and enlivening. She took a moment to look out towards the cityscape before her and smiled wrily. Back to business, then, she thought. The debrief with the council had almost been as dull as the three years of negotiations themselves. Master Windu clearly looked relieved when Cretia had concluded her report and extended her the grateful wishes of the council for a successful first mission.

Some mission, Cretia had muttered to herself, making her way up through the corridors to the new living quarters she had been assigned to upon her return. Blocking her path were two young padawans having what could only be described as a teenage temper tantrum, in the middle of the walkway between two buildings. "I beg your pardon," Cretia interrupted, "and I don't mean to intrude on this clearly delightful mothers meeting, but from what I can barely help but overhearing is hardly relevant to the training of a Jedi apprentice, do you not think?"

The younger padawans looked up at Cretia, embarrassed at having been caught mid-argument, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make trouble. Allara said that she could fly the speeder from the temple faster to the senate than I could, in case of an emergency, and I said that Master Kenobi had always said that if anything happened to the senate building, I was going to pilot the speeder."

Cretia raised an eyebrow, "Master Kenobi? And you are?"

"I'm Anakin Skywalker, padawan learner to Jedi Knight Obi-Wan Kenobi. This is Allara, she is Master Tandar's padawan."

Cretia nodded, pulling an air of seriousness around her, "Well Master Kenobi and I go back a long way, and I'm not sure that either he nor Master Jinn would entirely approve of this outburst in the corridor, do you?"

Allara looked confused and looked up at Cretia "Master Jinn?"

Cretia felt a familiar pang of sorrow and pain that took her back three years, to a desolate tundra landscape and a momentary unbalancing of the Force. "Yes, Master Jinn." She murmured, "If you'll excuse me, there's somewhere I need to be".

Cretia kept her composure until the door to her living quarters slid shut behind her, and then immediately threw off her cloak, dropped her bags onto the floor and tore the packaging off the new data pad sitting solemnly on a side table. Casting the wrappers aside and flicking it on, she sat down and searched the archives for entries relating to Qui-Gon Jinn, three years ago. As the Coruscant skyline slid into twilight, Cretia remained motionless on her chair. The data pad was face down on the table, on the article page from the battle of Naboo. She had been sitting there for hours, thinking at first, but then simply staring at the world beyond. Thoughtless and emotionless. A faint knock at the door shook Cretia out of her trance. "Yes?"

A familiar voice rang out from the other side "Room service!" Cretia snorted gently, room service indeed. She waved her hand at the door and it slid open. A tall figure with significantly more hair than Cretia remembered strode in, carrying a small tray laden with boxes. "You've grown your hair," Cretia remarked softly. She didn't stand up to greet him, she could barely feel her legs having sat still for so long. And she knew that he knew it.

"And you've learnt some lessons in intimidating small children, I hear" Obi-Wan smiled. "I heard you had returned, and thought you might want something to eat? I researched Kalash nutrition and my guess is that you probably are in need of a serious helping of meat in some form or another." He sat down opposite her, "your favourites, I promise."

Cretia watched as Obi-Wan opened various boxes of hot food, straight from the temple kitchens. She hadn't moved, but simply sat watching him talk her through the food choices, soaking up his smiles and chatter. He had barely changed to listen to him, and yet so much had clearly taken place. The slightly smug, proud demeanour was still right there, pleased with himself that he had brought her food, was her first visitor, had taken it upon himself to locate plates and spoons, even found time to go and get some juice from the place they had loved so much when they had spent afternoons trailing round Coruscant after training sessions.

Cretia watched as Obi-Wan slowly stopped talking, mid sentence. "I didn't say anything because, well, everything happened so fast." He conceded, of course he knew what she was thinking, he could sense it before he even knocked on the door. "And I didn't know what to say."

Cretia nodded. "You didn't have to say anything," she paused, collecting her thoughts before continuing "it just felt so far away, and for all the communications I had with the temple afterwards, nothing was ever said, and yes, why would they say anything about that to me, but I suppose I'm just a little shocked. That's all."

Obi-Wan pushed a plate towards her, "you're entitled to be shocked, I think" he nodded. "For as long as you wish, but you need to eat something."

Cretia picked up her fork and dutifully took a bite. "I eat, you tell me everything."

Obi-Wan sighed, and stood up, walking to the window. His hands clasped behind him, he began the story of what happened on Naboo. Cretia had fallen into his words, the painful descriptions of loss and dedication. A young queen and an even younger child who had been wrenched from his home into this world of lightsabres, patience and strength without warning or the option of turning back for home.

Obi-Wan had walked round the small room in circles as he spoke, often looking up at the ceiling for inspiration or a more palatable description of the grim events that he was imparting. Cretia knew better than to interrupt. Sometimes it was better to say nothing at all and simply let him speak, he so rarely ever truly spoke about anything that affected him beyond the standard Jedi platitudes that was expected of him.

"And so, Anakin has been taking classes along with the other padawans and younglings, dependent on his skills and requirements, but he still looks so... lost, I suppose. And as much as I try, I know he still thinks about his past, and his mother, about life on Tatooine, has he made the right choice coming here, was there a choice at all?" Obi-Wan sat down, ran his hands through his hair and shrugged, "So that brings us here. To this argumentative boy you met in the hallway, posturing with his peers, trying to live up to this chosen image he didn't have a chance to see coming or prepare for."

"Well," Cretia looked up from her plate, "I bet you'd rather have dealt with shifting logs between crates after all."

Obi-Wan half-smiled, "Possibly, but that wasn't the path laid out for me, eh?" He stood, and pulled his cloak around him, "it's late, and though Anakin might be too old to want a bedtime story, he's going to get a bedtime lecture on manners instead."


	3. Chapter 3

Cretia awoke to the gentle hum of temple morning activity. Jedi younglings were chatting outside and as she opened her windows to let the stale air dissipate into the courtyard, the serenity and peacefulness of her surroundings made her smile. Today would be a good day, the Force swirled with contentment and energy, and Cretia pulled on her boots, determined that the events of the previous evening, with the long sorrowful tales of Obi-Wan's previous three years, were not going to stop a glorious day.

She had overheard a memorable name in the hangar bay when she had arrived yesterday, and if memory served her correctly, this person was nothing but good news for everyone. Cretia took the lift down to the hangars and walked purposefully over to the brightly lit offices that controlled all flights, ships and droids assigned to the Jedi and their travels.

Captain Sardana was at her desk, flicking through the datapads of the day, ready to assign the various crafts to the relevant missions and flight sequences when she looked up and saw Cretia.

"Oh, no way!" Captain Sardana beamed, standing up and reaching over the desk to grasp Cretia's arm. "I'd ask what you're even doing here, but that would sound ridiculous... So I'm going to say it anyway, what are you doing here!?"

Cretia smiled back and pulled Captain Sardana into an awkward, over the counter hug. "I heard you were appointed captain of the fleet while I was away and thought I'd come and extend my overdue, but just as happy congratulations!"

Captain Luella Sardana had joined the younglings at the temple alongside Obi-Wan and Cretia, but was never chosen for an apprenticeship with a Jedi Master. She had joined the pilots corps, trafficking Jedi across the galaxy and and had soon impressed her superiors with her eye for detail and consistency in her work. Fleet captains worked at the temple hangars organising the transports of the day, and ensured that everything ticked over smoothly for the overall Fleet Commander (which had always been a Jedi Master, who took honorific responsibility for this area) and reported to the Council.

"You need to tell me all about you, I bet you have the most amazing stories!" Cretia gushed, "You already know I've been stuck on a backwater planet for three years, you probably even organised my transport home."

"I did." Captain Sardana nodded, putting her datapads on the desk of another member of the fleet department, "I can give you an hour now, or you can take a gamble and wait until the forthcoming chaos of the day is over, which will be way later, morning are always blissfully quiet so you got to catch me while you can!"

"Now is good." Cretia linked arms with Captain Sardana, as they walked towards the main temple halls "Room of a thousand fountains?"

"Absolutely. I never get to go there enough. I feel a little... undeserving?" Captain Sardana admitted shyly. "Only a half Jedi, you know."

"Half-Jedi?!" Cretia laughed "Most ridiculous thing you have ever said. Come on, I don't want to waste your precious hour."

Obi-Wan Kenobi stood by the entrance to one of the teaching halls. He always found a reason to drop by some of Anakin's training classes. He remembered his own training classes and the warm comfort of feeling his master's presence nearby. It had always strengthened his resolve, focused his mind to whatever guidance and learning had been imparted that day. Obi-Wan tried his best to follow the example set by his own master. Patience, the comfort of presence and supervision from afar, and the knowledge that whatever the situation, something could be learned from it.

Anakin didn't quite see it that way, as his class ended and he stomped out of the hallway to where Obi-Wan was leaning against a pillar, supposedly unseen. "You're checking up on me again?" He challenged.

Obi-Wan was taken aback, he hadn't expected the question and had been lost in memories of his own training days. It was wrong to indulge in nostalgia, but difficult to push such thoughts away, watching his own padawan take lessons he had taken himself not so long ago. "I wasn't checking up on you, Anakin, I promise you that, I was just passing by..."

"I felt you there, for at least the last hour, that wasn't just passing by, you were watching me."

"Padawan," Obi-Wan sighed, he would never have stood up and questioned his master like this. "I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable, I just wanted to see how you were getting along, and forgive me, but if a master cannot wallow in a little nostalgia for his own training days now and then..."

Anakin rolled his eyes, "you make it sound like you're as old as Master Yoda. Don't you have better things to do?"

Obi-Wan held his padawan's shoulders gently "Better things than 'checking up' on the most talented padawan in the room? Better things than being the proudest master? Not a chance."

He felt Anakin's anger at being watched dissolve with his words. The boy was still adapting to his new life, that was clear, and sometimes it felt so delicate, navigating the relationship between them.

Anakin pulled away and looked up at his master "I need to get to Master Nu and history of the force class. See you at home later?"

Obi-Wan nodded, astonished that for the first time in three years, Anakin had referred to their small, cramped living quarters in the temple as home. He watched Anakin walk briskly down the hallway, catching up with others from his class. They had been assigned a mission to oversee a transition in government in one of the core system planets in the next few days and he ought to be catching up on the details sent to him on his datapad. He folded his arms into the sleeves of his robe and turned to walk back to his quarters.

As he passed through the room of a thousand fountains, he saw a familiar brunette head sitting on one of the fountain walls, close to another, clothed in the steel grey robed uniform of the pilot corps.

Cretia felt Obi-Wan's approaching presence and her conversation with Captain Sardana paused as she turned to him, gesturing him to come over. "Good morning, Kenobi." Cretia stood up, "this is Luella, captain of the.."

"Captain of the fleet," Obi-Wan finished her sentence, "mistress of the most uncomfortable star ships and overseer of all that is shiny and metallic. I am aware. Also general know it all of best meditation techniques for class 2 younglings and master of the I-didn't-do-it innocence and light facial expression."

"I'm honoured you remember such skill and poise from so many years ago." Captain Sardana pulled a haughty face "and in my remit of overseer of all that is shiny and metallic, you will undoubtedly excuse me when I choose the most decrepit and uncomfortable transport for you this coming week as you journey to Ulabos."

Obi-Wan bowed his head "I defer to your greater judgement in such matters of galactic transportation. And if you will both excuse me, there is a datapad of information regarding this most illustrious trip that I really ought to have read by now."

Cretia followed Obi-Wan as he took his leave, "wait, Obi-Wan!"

Obi-Wan slowed and turned to face her. "I never had the chance to thank you for last night."

"No. You don't have to. It's been a long time since I had been in a position to talk to you, and it was a great relief to do so. I should be thanking you, if anything, for listening to my pathetic tales of woe and solitude." Obi-Wan smiled, "And I don't mean to distract you from your friend."

"She was your friend too once." "Yes. I suppose she was." Obi-Wan settled his gaze upon Captain Sardana, who was balancing a pebble above one of the fountain jets using the Force. "But we barely run into each other anymore. She has another life now. As do I."

Cretia poked him in the shoulder "there's something you're not telling me. I am determined to wriggle it out of you."

Obi-Wan chuckled, "there's nothing you need to know, I promise you. Will you be in the canteen later? You can quiz me then if you like, there's nothing to quiz me on, so you can do your worst."

Cretia laughed at him. "You may depend on that, I always get to the bottom of your stories eventually." She watched him walk away and turned back to her friend. "He's always so elusive, I really missed out on the years of news, huh?"

Captain Sardana gave a wry smile, "No news is bad news, then? Listen, I should be getting back. It's not fair to leave all the mini-me bods in charge, there's a big delegation coming in later that will require security escorts and all sorts of trouble. Drop by again when you're free?"

"Absolutely."

Captain Sardana settled back into her office, and pulled up the information for the forthcoming delegation arrival onto her screen. Security issues always riddled the larger ships with VIP personnel. She much preferred the smaller craft that were more easily disguised and had fewer places to stow illicit equipment. Transporting Jedi was easy, they never grumbled about what transport they we assigned, galactic busybodies and high ranking officials were another kettle of fish. The bigger the ship, the more important the person. Apparently.

"Captain"

Captain Sardana looked up. Obi-Wan Kenobi was standing in the doorway, looking more than a little bashful. "I owe you an apology."

"You do." Captain Sardana agreed. "But I didn't expect one, so let us brush such a matter under the carpet."

Obi-Wan frowned "You're not angry?" Captain Sardana laughed a little, covering her mouth with her hand, "What is it you live by? There is no anger, there is peace. Or perhaps, just that there is complete exhaustion. Being angry with you is exhausting, was exhausting. I have nothing left to give except my sincere thanks for a recommendation for this post, which I assume was down to you."

"Your fine skills alone, I guarantee."

"I don't believe you. The timings were too coincidental." Captain Sardana stood and moved to close the door behind Obi-Wan. "Listen, I know that you only came here because Cretia came back and you know as well as I do that she is eager for your news and you haven't been entirely forthcoming with all your news. I'm not in a position to tell anyone a word, I don't want to risk my position here, as I have told you in the past. I don't want anyone to walk away disappointed."

Obi-Wan took her hand from its place holding the door closed. "The last thing you could ever be is a catalyst for disappointment." He ran his thumb over her knuckles "and I am sorry we haven't spoken for a long time, but I thought you made it quite clear..."

"No attachment, no passion, live according to the path you have chosen." Captain Sardana snatched her hand back and punched the door code into the wall unit, letting it slide open, making Obi-Wan take a step back. "And I have reconciled myself to that. But you need to stop Cretia from digging all of this up. What will the Council think? And Anakin? You know he still comes here on almost a daily basis to fool around with droid parts and help the mechanics, don't you."

"What can it harm Cretia to know?"

Captain Sardana shook her head and allowed herself to look at Obi-Wan's face, already tired from the challenges of a difficult padawan, battles not yet fought and of a painful past. "I wish you knew her as well as I did. Moonlit conversations on the roof of the senators' living quarters?"

"She was always a good friend, a confidante."

"So you say." Cretia brushed past him and went to talk to a group of mechanics. This conversation was over, swept under the carpet as it had been for the past year.


End file.
